The start of marriage is exciting, but making it last is hard work. How to stay in love matters require maintaining and improving upon certain good habits. Marriage is a commitment and is a “promise that you will hold each other’s hand no matter the situation.”
Before writing this article, I sought the opinion of my Facebook followers regarding factors that can lead to a long lasting relationship. They gave lots of correlated tips – however, I will be writing in parts as well as using real life scenarios to send a true message to readers.
In my opinion one of the toughest tests in life is marriage (relationship). Marriage-relationship is a never ending process that needs consistency to keep it moving. It always look simple in the eyes but tough in reality. Perhaps due to the way society “choose” to share most of the positives and not the entire truth. To be very honest, marriage is very hard to maintain but easy to crush.
Going straight to the point without taking enough space, I will be touching on realities that can easily make a healthy and happy marriage-relationship.
Competition and materialism have taken over our current generation affecting all lifestyles; marriage is of no exception. A lot of marriages are under the bus because of comparison and competition. For instance, many people make demands in their marriages owing to what they’ve seen in others’ marriages.
As human beings our capabilities are not equal and same applies to our marriages. Your friend’s husband can afford to buy her a car to run her errands but your husband can only afford a monthly bus ticket for you. Don’t let luxuries in other people’s marriage influence you to force your spouse to provide same. If you do that, you are getting close to ruining your relationship.
For if you always look at those who have more than you do, you will never be grateful. Be in your lane. It should be noted that we may be in same fraternity called marriage but as the saying goes “all fingers are not equal” hence we cut our coat according to our cloth/size.
Having the mind-set “you are enough for me” erases competition and the urge to impress the public with regards to your marriage and help set a clear path in creating a harmonious bond between you and your spouse to work fervently to attain your goals in your relationship. When you are content, you think highly of your partner which feels like he/she is a unique being (celebrity) and that will prevent you from getting star-strucked (fascinated) by anybody in terms beauty, wealth, fame and the rest.
Appreciation goes along with contentment. Be thankful! Even if he can afford something worth the price of a handkerchief. Also, say thank you to show appreciation to your wife’s efforts when she cooks and it doesn’t suit your taste. Savour what you have and help your spouse in working towards greatness.
Therefore, contentment and gratitude are key ingredients to a long lasting (successful) relationship.
The above mentioned points cannot be achieved without proper communication and compromise. As a man, let your spouse know what you can afford and what you cannot. Don’t give high hopes which will result in disappointments and eventually break the marriage. Communicating properly to your spouse brings understanding.
Positive communication by words and by actions hold marriage-relationships stable.Talk about your weaknesses and strengths to create a platform to better them. Don’t protect your relationship with lies for truth is relentless and it will hit you at the time unexpected.
The communication should include what we call empathic listening, which means trying to understand the other person. It’s only when there is understanding that the communication becomes deep and intrinsically satisfying. This will lead both of you to accept each other for who you truly are and will create honesty, trust and heart of comprise.
This ends episode one of Recipes for a Long Lasting Relationship. Other parts will be posted subsequently. I would be grateful to have your comments below or on my facebook page. You also can share to inspire others. Thank you.
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