Am not sure am good enough for him/her. I don’t think I can be able to do this job. It’s not possible to achieve this dream. I can’t do this, can’t do that-are all self-doubt.
Self-doubt is part of every human and it shows up in serious moments in one’s life.
It sabotages goodness that may come your way – making you feel inadequate and insecure be it marriage, work or school.
Although self-doubt helps to keep you on track with your limitations or bad ideas, it mostly holds you back.
The way we manage our self-doubt makes the difference in our success or failure.
Research confirms that self-doubt can seriously impair your performance in anything and when handled correctly can actually offer opportunities for personal growth, change, and improved confidence.
I happen to motivate a lot of people who read me, however there are certain times I experience doubts within myself. Below are the way I get past self-doubts;
Work on your subconscious Mind
“We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation.” Jane Fonda
This is perhaps the most important tip you can take away from any self-improvement class. In anything you want to do in life, you are your own critic.
The inner voice that keeps telling you this is difficult, you cannot do this or that. Learn to shut down this negative self-talk and prepare yourself for greater things to come.
Talk positively to yourself always. Develop your own mantra. This will enforce the power of positivity on your subconscious mind.
If you are faced with indecision, tell yourself there is always a solution. A task seems bigger and you are thinking about giving up, tell yourself you can do it.
These small talks you give yourself are tit bits you are giving to your subconscious mind to change its working direction from negativity to positivity and once you are able to guide it to that direction, you will find out that you are able to do many things that you previously thought you could not do.
“Try not to get lost in comparing yourself to others. Discover your gifts and let them shine! Softball is amazing that way as a sport. Everyone on the field has a slightly different ability that makes them perfect for their position” Jennie Finch
Sometimes we are tempted to look at what others have achieved in their lives and use it as a yardstick to judge our success or failure in life. In as much as this may seem a good idea, the hard truth is that you will be limiting yourself or judging yourself wrongly.
The most important thing in life is not to compare yourself with others but rather understand your own life story-your criteria for success should be judged by your own journey through life.
What have you gone through before reaching your current status? Were you born with a silver spoon in your mouth or you had to endure from childhood until you reached where you are now?
You may think your next door neighbour is more successful than you are because of the house they own, the car they drive, or the type of job they have but don’t be fooled by appearance because each and every one of us has his own story.
Keep to your story and never lose sight of your target in life instead of looking at what others have got.
Just Do it
“A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided” Tony Robbins
You might have a dream about being the inventor of the next big thing yet so long as you never have the courage to begin working on it, it will always be a dream – and the difference between a dream and reality is way bigger than the distance between the earth and the sun. Nike couldn’t have said it better with their slogan “just do it”.
Never be afraid of the outcome of your venture. If you feel strong about it, just hop in and start doing. After all, doing something, no matter how small or insignificant, is better than not doing anything at all.
Mistakes are bound to happen, but don’t take it as a sign of your weakness, but rather as a valuable lesson learnt on your way to solving a problem or creating something awesome.
Work on yourself.
“To become a master at any skill, it takes the total effort of your heart, mind, and soul working together in tandem.” Maurice Young
There is no best time to self-doubt than when we are faced with an important assignment like a presentation, an exam or even an executive meeting. What sometimes causes this is our lack of preparation for the job at hand. You feel pressured because you don’t know if you know the subject enough or if your presentation will be appreciated by your boss or potential customers.
The best solution for this is to be working gradually on the problems over time, not just at the eleventh hour.
As a student you will be better off studying for the exam several months ahead instead of just 3 days to the D-day. Good students get to review the lessons, answer mock questions and re-read where they think they have a shortcoming before the exams because they start earlier and gradually instead of trying to learn a whole dictionary the night before exam.
The same thing applies to the job presentation. Start gradually and make sure you dedicate time to do it instead rushing on it when you feel you cannot avoid it.
“Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.” Pele
If you fall try to rise
“Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” Julie Andrews
Know beforehand that you will fall. The road to success in life is a slippery one. No matter how you plan ahead, no matter how you think through, unexpected situations always arise.
Failure comes and sometimes it comes in droves. But as a determined person, you must not allow yourself to be thrown under the bus.
By understanding this fact, you should see any type of failure that comes your way as nothing other than a temporary setback that you are sure to overcome on your way to success.
Don’t place unreasonable expectations on yourself.
The best part in overcoming self-doubt is not to place unreasonable pressure on yourself. If you are in a working environment with other co-workers, know the limits of your responsibility.
Trying to do many things at once will put you under immense pressure. When this happens, you tend to see your work as below par or at worst a failure, helping to create a breeding ground for self-doubt.
Do what is really important and as much as you can, don’t take other people’s load on your shoulder.
Talk to someone
“My success was due to good luck, hard work, and support and advice from friends and mentors. But most importantly, it depended on me to keep trying after I had failed.” Mark Warner
We are human and it is within our human DNA to be social beings. Sometimes when faced with a task that is intimidating having someone to talk to could go a long way to provide relief and even a very huge moral boost that can drive us to success.
They don’t care
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Bernard M. Baruch
Do you feel intimidated because you think someone is observing you or you are scared people will talk badly about you if you say something wrong?
Don’t worry, in reality no one cares about what you do or say and even if they do, everybody makes a mistake
Don’t let the opinions of others be a stumbling block for you to become a statue. If you have an opinion share it, if there is something you want to do, do it. That is how you overcome your inner self critic.
Almost everybody has been faced with self-doubt in one way or another in their life. It is not a big deal to find yourself in such a situation, but learning how to handle yourself to come out graciously is an asset that can be used in your daily life.
“Self-doubt is a retrogress to your success” Lukumanu Iddrisu