MISTAKE YOU (YOUNG) GUYS MUST NOT DO.

Dear young guys and ladies,

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Marry now with the little you have. Don’t wait to be a millionaire, Have kids early so they grow along with you. Grow with your spouse and kids and succeed with them. Start your life now as you might still not succeed at your target age.

Many people have waited to make so much money before they get married, years later money has refused to come, still no wife, no kids.

When you’ve found true love don’t hesitate waiting for money, it may mean waiting till eternity.

So many young guys are pretending not to be financially buoyant enough to marry but are already living couples life, so many girls are even wasting away on our streets as sex toys for men old enough to be their grandfather still they tell you they are not matured enough for marriage.

When you marry early, you get preoccupied with your spouse and not end up as “pubic utility ” for all and sundry, good enough your kids grow along with you. Stop looking for a “ready made” spouse, work your spouse’s success with him/her grow your wealth together – it gives you a sense of belonging and you’ll have a say.

If you have means, please marry early, don’t wait till you see your friends’ kids graduating while you still have yours in kindergarten classes, don’t wait to be 60 years and you still have kids in elementary school, don’t have kids young enough to be your grandchildren.

Contentment comes not from much wealth but fewer wants, don’t wait to buy Range Sport or build Mansions before you start you matrimony, ask your parents where and how they started, you’ll see that you’re even better off.

Trust me, it isn’t money that brings happiness but contentment, be happy with the little you’ve got, grow with your spouse and pray for more.

For the ladies, why wait?, when it’s even detrimental to your health to bear children late, why not do the needful while still at your prime?, very many who are waiting for “Mr Rich”
ended up as second wife, single parent, baby-Mama, very many never even married.

Don’t be deceived waiting for that man who can afford Peruvian wig, designer bags and cutest of wears, those guys are non existent else you’ll end up as money ritual material.

Please young guys, take my advice seriously, settle down early, don’t delay yourself

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waiting for a big society wedding, the ceremony is just few hours while marriage is lifetime, no matter how much you spend on wedding ceremony, yours won’t be the best and no matter how little you can afford, yours won’t be the worst, you’ll always be somewhere in-between, so why worry yourself?.

Take this as a sincere advise from me.

This is article is written by PROFESSOR HASSAN ABUBAKAR. It is featured on this blog because it’s a content worth sharing to alert our youth. All comments and opinions shall be directed to him.

It Takes More Than Love To Stay Faithful – You Need These 3 Characters

Being married and having a pleasant moment is what all spouses crave for. However, as the world is full tests; there comes a time when relationships are tested.

The tests in marriages in our generation is like walking on a tight rope. The little imbalance will cause your fall. None is a stranger to temptation by any means.

Tests leading to unfaithfulness in marriages can be someone temporarily intruding the relationship, boredom in the relationship, lack of interest in one’s partner or due to our hyper sexual environment/generation, just to mention a few.

One might say “You are married. So, stay true to your spouse.” On a biological level, it is really that simple but very hard to apply and achieve.

The number of cheating cases in this generation of ours is alarming. Adultery has increased in many parts of the world including where you might be reading me from.

Infidelity has been cited as the most common reason for divorced or dissolved marriages according divorce lawyers and marriage counselors.

But can we say all culprits of cheating do not love their spouses? NO! There’s an adage that says, “No one spends money to marry the enemy”.

Literally, everyone marries the one he/she loves – which is undoubted unless otherwise. It must be understood that love alone does not guarantee faithfulness in marriage.

Love comes from the heart but it takes the head to build a solid relationship. No matter how you love your spouse, you are liable to infidelity if you lack the following characters;

Control Your Gaze

“Don’t think you are too powerful and grand to stand temptations, the best way to avoid being tempted is by lowering your gaze” ~ Mufti Menk (Islamic Theologian)

The use of the eyes is significant in the success of marriages. The eyes are the number one avenue for temptation. What the eyes see is what the mind digests and what the mind digests is what is sent to the brain to respond. If the eyes are not given control, it looks at anything anyhow and at any time. But if it is regulated, it knows “what to look fixedly and what to turn a blind sight upon”

Imagine a woman walking along the road dressed in a provocative attire. A (married) man with an unguarded sight will gaze upon her to the extent that he might be emotionally attracted which then leads to extramarital relations.

Similarly, a woman who is not careful with the eyes might come across other men who might have good limbs and flexy muscles than her husband. If care is not taken, the woman might get attracted to such men and the unmentionable will happen.

“Remember! women nowadays crave for six packs and not six cars”   Lool!!!!

Therefore, if the eyes are not tamed – one will gaze upon figures of the opposite sex that might cause the fellow to disparage the features of his or her partner.

In essence, use your eyes to only see the best in your spouse and help in suggesting how he/she can maintain or improve and not to look at others as a gauge. For the correct use of the eye prevents one from being tempted and in turn strengthen marriage relationship.

“out of sight, out of mind”

Self-Discipline

Nothing can be successful without discipline. No matter what you do, sustainability and long-term success cannot be achieved if there’s no self-discipline.

To live a healthy relationship and be happy, self-discipline is needed to accomplish such goal. Alternately becoming faithful in marriage requires emotional and physical discipline.

Self-discipline is often easy when one adapts to the first step (lowering your gaze).

There are instances where one finds him/herself to be attracted to someone (opposite sex) other than the spouse because that “someone” listens or pays more attention than the spouse. Gradually, one might start to rely on that person for emotional support.

This is referred as emotional infidelity. Without emotional discipline, the tendency of doing something silly is very possible.

Undoubtedly, there are period of frustrations in marriages and the best way to solve them is to address problems together with your spouse rather than a friend of the opposite sex. That’s why you are married!

You never know; someone might be waiting to capitalize on your weakness. Because there are instances where people in the name of consoling their friends (of the opposite sex) turn out as a different story hence physical infidelity.

To conquer these; try as much as possible to distance yourself from the opposite sex and learn to draw the lines when the opposite sex tries to lure you from your partner. Again, control your mind from lusting for others.

Finally, remember good things and always think positive about your mate when your emotions are drifted.

Contentment

Going after beauty or handsomeness is just like chasing money. If it’s the only choice to make you happy, you’ll never be happy; for it is infinite. ~ Lukumanu Iddrisu

Be happy and satisfied for who your spouse is.  Have a mindset that makes you feel highly of your partner to the extent that no beauty or handsomeness can fascinate you.

Moral Uprightness

I don’t know for the various cultures in the world but I believe 100% that, there’s no religion in this world that supports adultery. The two most dominated religions in the world i.e. Islam and Christianity both frowns on fornication and adultery. It is referred as unethical and a grave sin.

Believers in Islam or Christianity who conform to high standard of morality have fear of their Lord and  are very conscious with regards to committing such acts or crime. Both believe that it stains spirituality and retrogresses one’s success in this world and the next.

Therefore, being religious is another way of preventing yourself from committing adultery.

Ideally, this article is to champion the path of faithfulness in one’s marriage since it’s a determining factor for a long lasting relationship.

Always remind yourself and work towards it. The ball is in your court!

Were you inspired by this post? I would be grateful for your comment below. Please share to reach others. Thank you.

Recipes for a Long Lasting Relationship

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The start of marriage is exciting, but making it last is hard work. How to stay in love matters require maintaining and improving upon certain good habits. Marriage is a commitment and is a “promise that you will hold each other’s hand no matter the situation.”

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Before writing this article, I sought the opinion of my Facebook followers regarding factors that can lead to a long lasting relationship. They gave lots of correlated tips – however, I will be writing in parts as well as using real life scenarios to send a true message to readers.

In my opinion one of the toughest tests in life is marriage (relationship). Marriage-relationship is a never ending process that needs consistency to keep it moving. It always look simple in the eyes but tough in reality. Perhaps due to the way society “choose” to share most of the positives and not the entire truth. To be very honest, marriage is very hard to maintain but easy to crush.

Going straight to the point without taking enough space, I will be touching on realities that can easily make a healthy and happy marriage-relationship.

Competition and materialism have taken over our current generation affecting all lifestyles; marriage is of no exception. A lot of marriages are under the bus because of comparison and competition. For instance, many people make demands in their marriages owing to what they’ve seen in others’ marriages.

As human beings our capabilities are not equal and same applies to our marriages. Your friend’s husband can afford to buy her a car to run her errands but your husband can only afford a monthly bus ticket for you. Don’t let luxuries in other people’s marriage influence you to force your spouse to provide same. If you do that, you are getting close to ruining your relationship.

For if you always look at those who have more than you do, you will never be grateful. Be in your lane. It should be noted that we may be in same fraternity called marriage but as the saying goes “all fingers are not equal” hence we cut our coat according to our cloth/size.

Having the mind-set “you are enough for me” erases competition and the urge to impress the public with regards to your marriage and help set a clear path in creating a harmonious bond between you and your spouse to work fervently to attain your goals in your relationship.  When you are content, you think highly of your partner which feels like he/she is a unique being (celebrity) and that will prevent you from getting star-strucked (fascinated) by anybody in terms beauty, wealth, fame and the rest.

Appreciation goes along with contentment. Be thankful! Even if he can afford something worth the price of a handkerchief.  Also, say thank you to show appreciation to your wife’s efforts when she cooks and it doesn’t suit your taste. Savour what you have and help your spouse in working towards greatness.
Therefore, contentment and gratitude are key ingredients to a long lasting (successful) relationship.

The above mentioned points cannot be achieved without proper communication and compromise. As a man, let your spouse know what you can afford and what you cannot. Don’t give high hopes which will result in disappointments and eventually break the marriage.  Communicating properly to your spouse brings understanding.

Positive communication by words and by actions hold marriage-relationships stable.Talk about your weaknesses and strengths to create a platform to better them. Don’t protect your relationship with lies for truth is relentless and it will hit you at the time unexpected.

The communication should include what we call empathic listening, which means trying to understand the other person. It’s only when there is understanding that the communication becomes deep and intrinsically satisfying. This will lead both of you to accept each other for who you truly are and will create honesty, trust and heart of comprise.

This ends episode one of Recipes for a Long Lasting Relationship. Other parts will be posted subsequently. I would be grateful to have your comments below or on my facebook page. You also can share to inspire others. Thank you.

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Twitter: @Lukumanuminute, @Lukumanugh

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