Mothers are jewels. Mothers are homemakers. Mothers are great shapers. It is why they take a chunk of the upbringing business of the home. The mother plays an integral role in the making of better homes and better societies. For years; for so many years, the concentration of their upbringing business has been on making better wives out of the girl-child, which is great. But how about, instead of concentrating on just that, they widen the scope to further concentrate on making better husbands out of the boy-child?
In the Institution of Marriage, the relationship that exists is a networked one. Of the many good things we can do to change the status quo that has long made the woman to be just a servant in marriage but not a partner; is to instill in the boy child that, , if the husband plays his role greatly, it makes it easier for the wife to discharge hers conveniently which then makes a happy home. We have long overlooked the fact that marriage as an institution which demands a collective input than just one person serving the lot. Just like the way one hand can’t give you a good hand shake, just (only) the effort of the woman cannot make a sound home.
Most often, we ponder which university our boys will go to or career path they will grow to tread on, but rarely do we think of them as somebody’s future spouse. It is even evenly difficult to imagine that they’d grow up to be parents someday, rather unfortunately. The purpose of this piece is to explore ways by which the next generation of our much revered and beloved mothers and/or wives can make the best out of the boy-child to make them better and more responsible.
To start with, understanding of the term “Marriage” and the accompanying role of the man should be made a key component in the education of the boy-child. He should be made to understand that Marriage is the similitude of a Partnership Business – which explains why the husband and wife are referred to as partners. For true happiness and success to prevail in any Marriage, the man must play his role as excellently as the wife should. The work is not for the wife alone to do. The perception that it is the wife that does majority of the work (especially in the house) in Marriage should never be given space to stick in the boy’s head. This will obviously be a hard thing to do, since he [probably] will grow up watching his mum do almost everything at home. Nevertheless, this should be taught to him primarily.
Our generation of mothers should make a conscious effort in raising the male child in a way he will be responsible in every detail of the home. From the kitchen to bed, from the laundry to even bathing of children.
Society and culture in some way have made some jobs look more effeminate just like other jobs look masculine. However it doesn’t underline the fact that of the 90% chores in a home it’s a job that both partners can do. What’s more beautiful when both give their input in making the home a great place where ethics, compassion, affection, responsibility and leadership is reflected?
Of the best chefs in the world are males, of the most effective laundry companies are run by males, of the good home decorators are companies run by males. So what’s the excuse that the male child should fold his hands and watch the dishing, the tidying, the bathing and cooking of meals while he can participate in these chores?
The male-child must be involved in some household chores like doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom or toilet and even cooking. This will go a long way to help him if or when he eventually ends up in a Boarding School before Marriage. And when in marriage, it makes easier to give a helping hand regarding household chores. And doing so, can help ease work load of the wife in the house which will eventually have a positive impact on the relationship
Next, teach him to learn to respect the girl-child. He should never grow up holding a disrespectful or demeaning attitude towards the girl, or woman, for that matter. Also, mothers could consider advising their boy-child that it is necessary to involve women in decision making process in marriages as well as do away with any cultural myth that adds nothing but hinders relationship.
Furthermore, get him doing the baby-sitting business. Sooner or later, he will find himself in a position requiring him to baby-sit his or someone else’s baby, so, our mothers should please make this an essential element of their learning process. The boy-child should not be allowed to climb the ladder of development without learning this important activities, regardless of what.
We believe if these explained points are well implemented by our respected mothers in the upbringing of male children could go a long way to preparing them for the ever-important roles in marriages come tomorrow.
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Written by Kamal Issah, Hamza Hajj Ayub & Lukumanu Iddrisu