Expect More From Yourself And Less From Others

The human nature is an amazing one and a school in its entirety; if only we pay close attention to. Whatever man needs to develop and be a master of, has been embedded in us – if only we can tap and exploit it.

Pezibear / Pixabay

It’s however sad that the misery, downturn and bankruptcy in almost every aspect of our lives has been the misapplication of the perception of expectation. Thus, we expect people to know and do what we are supposed to do for ourselves.

We have in our DNA the expectation syndrome which ranges from the individual to the family, the society to the nation and even our nation to the world; we all expect our transformation to come from a different source and not ourselves.

Our social life has become a moral mockery; for the individual expects change to embrace him like evolution without initiating the cause. The illiterate and the educated both waiting for manna from heaven.

For instance, the number of unemployed graduates is sky rocketing because we have been made to expect jobs (from especially government) after graduating. In believing so, we sit, hoping and praying but it never happen. Similarly, we litter our compounds and environs and expect others (especially government) to clean it up.

Another example is that of developing nations. They expect grants and loans from developed nations in order to transform their nations. And so rare does these grants and loans come on a condition that favors these countries but rather keep sinking their economies into the pool of dependency.

marcisim / Pixabay

Some of our expectations are valid on the individual level – because in life we can’t really do it all. But we need to be wary of how this can lock us up in a cage of dependency. We need to start expecting more from ourselves first before we expect from others. At the end of the day, everyone is really just looking out for themselves so chances are, our expectations would not be met.

In conclusion, expectation is a great tool only when applied to your own person by tasking yourself to do that which you have set for yourself to do but not that which you expect from another person, the family or the society.

Have you been expecting from others? Are you able to meet your goals by expecting from others? Please comment below.

Writing credit: Hamza Hajj Ayub, Shafic Osman & Lukumanu Iddrisu






Am not sure am good enough for him/her. I don’t think I can be able to do this job. It’s not possible to achieve this dream. I can’t do this, can’t do that-are all self-doubt.

Self-doubt is part of every human and it shows up in serious moments in one’s life.
It sabotages goodness that may come your way – making you feel inadequate and insecure be it marriage, work or school.

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Although self-doubt helps to keep you on track with your limitations or bad ideas, it mostly holds you back.

The way we manage our self-doubt makes the difference in our success or failure.

Research confirms that self-doubt can seriously impair your performance in anything and when handled correctly can actually offer opportunities for personal growth, change, and improved confidence.

I happen to motivate a lot of people who read me, however there are certain times I experience doubts within myself. Below are the way I get past self-doubts;

Work on your subconscious Mind

“We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation.” Jane Fonda

This is perhaps the most important tip you can take away from any self-improvement class. In anything you want to do in life, you are your own critic.

The inner voice that keeps telling you this is difficult, you cannot do this or that. Learn to shut down this negative self-talk and prepare yourself for greater things to come.

Talk positively to yourself always. Develop your own mantra. This will enforce the power of positivity on your subconscious mind.

If you are faced with indecision, tell yourself there is always a solution. A task seems bigger and you are thinking about giving up, tell yourself you can do it.

These small talks you give yourself  are tit bits you are giving to your subconscious mind to change its working direction from negativity to positivity and once you are able to guide it to that direction, you will find out that you are able to do many things that you previously thought you could not do.


Stop comparing

“Try not to get lost in comparing yourself to others. Discover your gifts and let them shine! Softball is amazing that way as a sport. Everyone on the field has a slightly different ability that makes them perfect for their position” Jennie Finch

Sometimes we are tempted to look at what others have achieved in their lives and use it as a yardstick to judge our success or failure in life. In as much as this may seem a good idea, the hard truth is that you will be limiting yourself or judging yourself wrongly.

The most important thing in life is not to compare yourself with others but rather understand your own life story-your criteria for success should be judged by your own journey through life.

What have you gone through before reaching your current status? Were you born with a silver spoon in your mouth or you had to endure from childhood until you reached where you are now?

You may think your next door neighbour is more successful than you are because of the house they own, the car they drive, or the type of job they have but don’t be fooled by appearance because each and every one of us has his own story.

Keep to your story and never lose sight of your target in life instead of looking at what others have got.


Just Do it

“A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided” Tony Robbins

You might have a dream about being the inventor of the next big thing yet so long as you never have the courage to begin working on it, it will always be a dream – and the difference between a dream and reality is way bigger than the distance between the earth and the sun. Nike couldn’t have said it better with their slogan “just do it”.

Never be afraid of the outcome of your venture. If you feel strong about it, just hop in and start doing. After all, doing something, no matter how small or insignificant, is better than not doing anything at all.

Mistakes are bound to happen, but don’t take it as a sign of your weakness, but rather as a valuable lesson learnt on your way to solving a problem or creating something awesome.

Work on yourself.

“To become a master at any skill, it takes the total effort of your heart, mind, and soul working together in tandem.” Maurice Young

There is no best time to self-doubt than when we are faced with an important assignment like a presentation, an exam or even an executive meeting. What sometimes causes this is our lack of preparation for the job at hand. You feel pressured because you don’t know if you know the subject enough or if your presentation will be appreciated by your boss or potential customers.

The best solution for this is to be working gradually on the problems over time, not just at the eleventh hour.

As a student you will be better off studying for the exam several months ahead instead of just 3 days to the D-day.  Good students get to review the lessons, answer mock questions and re-read where they think they have a shortcoming before the exams because they start earlier and gradually instead of trying to learn a whole dictionary the night before exam.

The same thing applies to the job presentation. Start gradually and make sure you dedicate time to do it instead rushing on it when you feel you cannot avoid it.

“Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.” Pele


If you fall try to rise

“Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” Julie Andrews

Know beforehand that you will fall. The road to success in life is a slippery one. No matter how you plan ahead, no matter how you think through, unexpected situations always arise.

Failure comes and sometimes it comes in droves. But as a determined person, you must not allow yourself to be thrown under the bus.

By understanding this fact, you should see any type of failure that comes your way as nothing other than a temporary setback that you are sure to overcome on your way to success.

Don’t place unreasonable expectations on yourself.

The best part in overcoming self-doubt is not to place unreasonable pressure on yourself. If you are in a working environment with other co-workers, know the limits of your responsibility.

Trying to do many things at once will put you under immense pressure. When this happens, you tend to see your work as below par or at worst a failure, helping to create a breeding ground for self-doubt.

Do what is really important and as much as you can, don’t take other people’s load on your shoulder.


Talk to someone

“My success was due to good luck, hard work, and support and advice from friends and mentors. But most importantly, it depended on me to keep trying after I had failed.” Mark Warner

We are human and it is within our human DNA to be social beings. Sometimes when faced with a task that is intimidating having someone to talk to could go a long way to provide relief and even a very huge moral boost that can drive us to success.


They don’t care

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Bernard M. Baruch
Do you feel intimidated because you think someone is observing you or you are scared people will talk badly about you if you say something wrong?

Don’t worry, in reality no one cares about what you do or say and even if they do, everybody makes a mistake

Don’t let the opinions of others be a stumbling block for you to become a statue. If you have an opinion share it, if there is something you want to do, do it. That is how you overcome your inner self critic.



Almost everybody has been faced with self-doubt in one way or another in their life. It is not a big deal to find yourself in such a situation, but learning how to handle yourself to come out graciously is an asset that can be used in your daily life.

“Self-doubt is a retrogress to your success” Lukumanu Iddrisu

Six Super Tips for maximum motivation – It is not that difficult

Do you constantly find yourself not able to perform the important tasks in your work because you lack motivation?

Working on your own as an entrepreneur is a dream many people wish to follow and it is the right decision to take for anyone looking to have financial freedom and also the free time to do what they want without having a boss.

KristopherK / Pixabay


Having said this, not all who start this endeavor end it well. Many people begin with enthusiasm only to throw in the towel after just a short time.

Although there are many reasons people fail at doing what they set themselves to do, in this article, I am going to talk about motivation.

Are you ready to learn how to find abundant motivation?

Have a real motivation to start what you are doing

You don’t have to engage in a business if you don’t have any passion about it nor do you engage in a business if you know nothing about it.

But it is proven, that even if you don’t have any expertise about a business, having enough passion will drive you to learn more about it to reach a reasonably expert level.

If you are someone who likes football, a football related site will be better for you than an engineering site especially if you have never studied and you don’t enjoy talking about it.

This might seem not a big issue but if you choose an unfamiliar topic, you will realize that updating it will be difficult for you in the long run

Remind yourself of the importance of your work.

Sometimes even after engaging in what you love doing, you still find yourself in a state where you lack the motivation to work, for various reasons.

When you find yourself in this situation, it is important to just remind yourself of the impact you can make on other people

Do you have a family? Are you the breadwinner? If your work fails what’s next?

It can even be that you cannot allow yourself to fail because doing so will impact negatively on your life and that of someone.

As the breadwinner of your family, you know that you have to work even if it is the most difficult work because you will not want your family to go hungry or lose a place they call home.

Surround yourself with success

If you want to succeed, you have to setup your environment for success.

Doing so can be in the form of having motivational quotes near your workspace that you can just take a look once in a while. Even though this may seem less effective, there are suggestions from great bloggers that it works.

Another form of surrounding yourself with success is to link up with already successful people in your niche or at least like minded people who you know can serve as an excellent inspiration for you when the going gets tough.

Don’t surround yourself with people who don’t believe in what you do or worst still, people who always try to discourage you.

You can surround yourself with success if you know what you are doing. By this I mean you should always try to learn new things in your business. Don’t be stagnant.

Always check to upgrade your “can have” in knowledge. Doing what you love and knowing how to do it well in itself is a great motivational factor.

Help a customer

As a business owner, your motivation is not just about money. Sometimes the smiles, the thanks and  the positive comments about you when people who have come to you for help and were satisfied is just a feeling that will motivate you to carry one with your work.

Gratitude is a human feeling that money cannot buy. So if you want to motivate yourself, you should also try as much as possible to help your others (customers).

If you have a to-do list, try to cross out as many items as possible.

We are afraid of failure. We start our day or week with written goals that we hope to achieve but not always are we able to complete our to-do list and with time this list grows and the fact that we are faced with a huge list of uncompleted work makes us feel as if we have failed.

So take your time and complete your list as much as possible and focus on the bigger projects that will directly bring you returns in your business.

In the end, even if your list is not completed, the results brought to your business will be compensated

Also, try to redefine items that are on your list. Some of them may not even be helping your business even if you are able to complete them, in this case, you can cancel them out.

There is no need to be doing something over and over if it does not help your business in any way.

Take a break

Sometimes the work you are doing is just not adding up. It could be that you are overwhelmed by the magnitude of work or some thoughts keep coming up that keeps distracting you.

You can greatly help yourself if you take some minutes off to cool down. Remember the popular saying “all work and no play?”

Never force yourself to work through tiredness or stress. You can just go out for a 10-minute walk a jog or just go to the store.

There a many ways you can take a break the most important thing is to temporarily disconnect yourself from what you are currently doing so that when you come back to it late, you will be sufficiently refreshed enough to perform better.


Remember to take your motivation seriously because you will be one of the thousands of people who start a business or project only to drop it almost as soon as they started.

Remember even though there are several ingredients that help you grow as a person and as a business owner, motivation is the one that keeps you going even when you find yourself faced with total failure.

If you are able to train yourself to be motivated, know that you can achieve anything that you set yourself to do.


Are you giving up already? These 2 Qualities will help.

You might have tried more than once and haven’t achieved what you want and you get to the extent of giving up. Remember! Before something becomes good or excellent then it has gone through several challenges or tests. Everything in life rated with such qualities go through some amounts of tests.

Myriams-Fotos / Pixabay

Life is a gift. A gift not based on merit but by the absolute Grace of God. Your life is different from another person and same applies to its journey. Just like the way we were not born at the same time. It’s possible that your mates occupy high offices now or are in higher ranks whilst you still remain tussling, or most of your mates are progressing whilst you look retrogressed. Whatever your situation is, don’t curse yourself. It doesn’t mean they are better than you are. Just consider these 2 advice.
Focus on yourself: Being alive is enough. As far as there is life, everything is possible. Moreover since you are alive, there is hope. Discover your strengths and focus on them. Try as much to improve on your weakness as well. Just think about how you can climb the ladder yourself. Have a clean heart and don’t have a “negative jealosy” upon those ahead of you or pay heed to those who might mock you. All these are distractions and will definitely waste your time to progress in life. Keep the hard work and never relent. Surely surely you’ll get there.
Your time is different from others: Despite starting before or the same time with people who are ahead does not make you a failure. Being desperate to equalize or go ahead might lead you to make wrong decisions. Everybody has his (own) time. Today is someone’s and tomorrow could be yours. That someone was also working very hard to get there and today has manifested it. Your hard work is not in vain. Perhaps it needs little time to lead you to success. Always have it in mind that the minute you want to quit might be the same time your success will blossom. Therefore with patience, your diligence will pay dividends tomorrow just like someone’s success today.

At times we just need to change one or twos for the goal to be scored. That’s why we will have to learn from others who have succeeded. Therefore, as things doesn’t work out, lessons are learnt and these lessons are part of every successful person. The success is coming and “even if it’s considered late, it will be great”. For success that comes after enough patience lasts long and worth the wait.
Are you facing some challenges with achieving your goals? what are they? Were you inspired with this piece? Leave a comment here or on my Facebook Page.