The polygamous home is a beautiful home, for it usually brings people from different family, ethnicity and creed under one umbrella and a means to cater for most of the world social vices if we are to adhere to its rules and principles.
As people, it has become a matter of priority to make sure we find a way to make polygamy achieve its purpose as a means to enhance harmony between families and a way to cater for man’s inherent nature as a polygamous being.
However, the talk of polygamy today has become a criminal idea because of some frustrations in its malpractice and/or upholding to certain doctrines. There’s an old saying that; ‘he that is bitten by a snake runs when he sees a worm’. How then do we demystify the fear and terror that polygamy engraves in the heart of women today?
Man who is the initiator of polygamy is required to know, understand and prepare himself before he ventures into polygamy. It is however sad that we limit the preparation to just financial wherewithal, which is just a minute requirement of what polygamy demands.
Our human nature is made up of psychological, emotional, spiritual and physical demands. To pay attention to just one of these aspects of our inherent demands will create an imbalanced person which will be evident in our actions for we won’t be able to live wholly.
Man before he ventures into polygamy needs to be prepared psychologically to be able to absorb the weight in handling a bigger family. He needs to be emotionally fit in order not to implicitly or explicitly show that his heart endears to one wife over the other. So it is that he needs to be physically fit to ensure he can exercise his night duties without being partial over the other. These are factors that men usually do not pay heed to but only think so far as they can cater financially then all is set for one to delve into polygamy.
Our men of today do so little to give polygamy the beauty it deserves thereby making its name a nightmare to women of today. Being it out of fear or jealousy from the women, it is sad that majority of men have failed when it comes to handling polygamous homes.
It is an undeniable fact that most women will meet the idea of a second wife in their matrimonial home with frowns and unsettled behavior but it is up to the man and woman to give nature its due.
It is said that bad experience does not change a person but rather reveals who he or she really is. If a woman experiences the worst in it, she should find a way to educate her male child to be kind and good to his women and equip him with how to handle more than a single wife – if in his life he happens to do so. This will help ensure a positive outcome rather than mire it with bitter experiences which seemingly facilitates the rate of adultery.
Polygamy should be an education and not a revolution, where both husband and wife through their actions instill in their children how to live in a polygamous house if they find themselves in than rather painting a bitter image to them. For it is better to be polygamous (legally married to more than one wife) than to hypocritically practice monogamy whiles cheating (with many women) on your wife. Such is unethical in every sense.
Nurture the male kids with how to be loving, dutiful, responsible and impartial when they engage in polygamy, which may stem from a different cause than just to satisfy their sexual desires.
For the females, they must be raised in a way that they will honor and make a polygamous home a beauty if they should encounter such reality than fuel them with bitterness about it – for women are the foundation of a sound society because in them is a school that every man born of a woman will attend.
Just like the wise will say, ‘seal the holes in the ceiling before the raining season’.
Although men have done a gruesome harm to the image of polygamy, women have contributed to finishing the polish of its bad image.
Pain like fire can be used to propel us to greater heights as a good servant and we could sink deep in perdition if we allow it to become a bad master on us. It is an inescapable reality that women will meet polygamy and men will indulge in it.
It should be a means to unite than divide, a means to progress than retrogress and means to achieve peace than to fall into chaos.
The task is on men to uphold to its principles and live as a model that depicts its beauty while is on to the women not to allow the bitterness from experiences of others influence them or the fruits of their marriage. For until we work positively towards it, polygamy will always bare negative fruits.
What is your take on the practice of polygamy? Does it have positive effects? share your thought in the comment box.
This article is written by Hamza Hajj Ayub. You can contact him on firstname.lastname@example.org