Life is an unending challenge that comes with a lot of stress we press to have our rest in our daily lives. Our load of stress comes mostly from our daily activities which include; work, family, school, individual ambition, etc.
All these are a load of burden on us to accomplish to be able to have the sound mind which will enhance our happiness.
In life, there is a general group of people mixed in our circle of friends who happen to be a retrogress to our progress for many reasons. These are people we can refer to as ‘toxic’ friends.
Friends are those we choose to associate with. Those we believe we can spend time, share ideas and align our visions to reach greatness with. Everyone cannot become our friend. Yes, friendship is a selective process; we need people around us who would be a source of reducing our stress and not increase it.
To do that; there’s the need to recognize certain characteristics of toxic people.
Toxic friends always have holes on their roof yet want to create loopholes on others’ roof. AJ Harbinger commented that “Strange as it might sound, people who aren’t in control of their own lives tend to want to control yours.” and I agree with him. Toxic friends will force you to dance to their dirty tunes. There’s a saying that “mystery loves company”; therefore, don’t be surprised that those who are miserable will create an avenue of unhappiness for others – just to be at par.
Toxic people get close to kill your spirits with their words, which might turn your right thinking to negativity. Everyone is created with a tongue. The tongue is a sharp tool that can be used negatively to ruin the spirit of others or can be used positively to impart goodness into the lives of others. When you encounter those with negative tongues, make it a point to maintain your distance; create a barrier if possible. Regardless of what, don’t be tempted to use your tongue unwisely.
Too, one characteristic of toxic people is that; they keep doing things intentionally to upset you even though it’s obvious they are in the wrong. They cloak those unsavory actions in the name of jokes to insult or go beyond boundaries. They have total disregard for others’ boundaries.
Few days ago, I had an encounter with a friend who wanted to use jokes to mock my private life (for the second time). I made it known to him that what he had done was a deliberate attempt to insult not only me but my family. The decision I made was to cut ties with him. This is not lack of tolerance but actually getting rid of toxicity which could affect my life.
Harbinger advised that “if you’re always telling someone to stop behaving a certain way and they only continue, that person is probably toxic. Respecting the boundaries of others comes naturally to well-adjusted adults. The toxic person thrives on violating them.” Also, most of their conversations are not about sharing ideas for self-improvement but creating stories to mock others as a source of fun.
Furthermore, negative friends think they are always right and infallible. They find ways to be right even when they’re not. They rarely admit or apologize for mistakes. Annoyingly, they end up playing victim.
We will attain massive improvement in our lives if we remove friends with the above characteristics from our circle.
To do that, we need to consider doing the following: Don’t argue with friends who wrong you and do not want to accept their faults;
Let go of their wrongs, else it might take control of your mind and in turn affect the quality of your life; Avoid negative friends totally – cut ties with them and shy from sitting in their midst. However, that should not prevent us from being good to them as and when necessary. That’s a sign of self-respect and positivity and self-respect.
Life is a long, bumpy ride, and so we should be sure to not further complicate our struggles by bringing people’s loads on board. Be humble, be kind, be loving, just be an extrovert, but never allow yourself to be taken for granted. You come first irrespective of what. Remember that!
Have you had an experience with a toxic friend? How have you managed to deal with him/her? Kindly comment below.