Being married and having a pleasant moment is what all spouses crave for. However, as the world is full tests; there comes a time when relationships are tested.
The tests in marriages in our generation is like walking on a tight rope. The little imbalance will cause your fall. None is a stranger to temptation by any means.
Tests leading to unfaithfulness in marriages can be someone temporarily intruding the relationship, boredom in the relationship, lack of interest in one’s partner or due to our hyper sexual environment/generation, just to mention a few.
One might say “You are married. So, stay true to your spouse.” On a biological level, it is really that simple but very hard to apply and achieve.
The number of cheating cases in this generation of ours is alarming. Adultery has increased in many parts of the world including where you might be reading me from.
Infidelity has been cited as the most common reason for divorced or dissolved marriages according divorce lawyers and marriage counselors.
But can we say all culprits of cheating do not love their spouses? NO! There’s an adage that says, “No one spends money to marry the enemy”.
Literally, everyone marries the one he/she loves – which is undoubted unless otherwise. It must be understood that love alone does not guarantee faithfulness in marriage.
Love comes from the heart but it takes the head to build a solid relationship. No matter how you love your spouse, you are liable to infidelity if you lack the following characters;
Control Your Gaze
“Don’t think you are too powerful and grand to stand temptations, the best way to avoid being tempted is by lowering your gaze” ~ Mufti Menk (Islamic Theologian)
The use of the eyes is significant in the success of marriages. The eyes are the number one avenue for temptation. What the eyes see is what the mind digests and what the mind digests is what is sent to the brain to respond. If the eyes are not given control, it looks at anything anyhow and at any time. But if it is regulated, it knows “what to look fixedly and what to turn a blind sight upon”
Imagine a woman walking along the road dressed in a provocative attire. A (married) man with an unguarded sight will gaze upon her to the extent that he might be emotionally attracted which then leads to extramarital relations.
Similarly, a woman who is not careful with the eyes might come across other men who might have good limbs and flexy muscles than her husband. If care is not taken, the woman might get attracted to such men and the unmentionable will happen.
“Remember! women nowadays crave for six packs and not six cars” Lool!!!!
Therefore, if the eyes are not tamed – one will gaze upon figures of the opposite sex that might cause the fellow to disparage the features of his or her partner.
In essence, use your eyes to only see the best in your spouse and help in suggesting how he/she can maintain or improve and not to look at others as a gauge. For the correct use of the eye prevents one from being tempted and in turn strengthen marriage relationship.
“out of sight, out of mind”
Nothing can be successful without discipline. No matter what you do, sustainability and long-term success cannot be achieved if there’s no self-discipline.
To live a healthy relationship and be happy, self-discipline is needed to accomplish such goal. Alternately becoming faithful in marriage requires emotional and physical discipline.
Self-discipline is often easy when one adapts to the first step (lowering your gaze).
There are instances where one finds him/herself to be attracted to someone (opposite sex) other than the spouse because that “someone” listens or pays more attention than the spouse. Gradually, one might start to rely on that person for emotional support.
This is referred as emotional infidelity. Without emotional discipline, the tendency of doing something silly is very possible.
Undoubtedly, there are period of frustrations in marriages and the best way to solve them is to address problems together with your spouse rather than a friend of the opposite sex. That’s why you are married!
You never know; someone might be waiting to capitalize on your weakness. Because there are instances where people in the name of consoling their friends (of the opposite sex) turn out as a different story hence physical infidelity.
To conquer these; try as much as possible to distance yourself from the opposite sex and learn to draw the lines when the opposite sex tries to lure you from your partner. Again, control your mind from lusting for others.
Finally, remember good things and always think positive about your mate when your emotions are drifted.
Going after beauty or handsomeness is just like chasing money. If it’s the only choice to make you happy, you’ll never be happy; for it is infinite. ~ Lukumanu Iddrisu
Be happy and satisfied for who your spouse is. Have a mindset that makes you feel highly of your partner to the extent that no beauty or handsomeness can fascinate you.
I don’t know for the various cultures in the world but I believe 100% that, there’s no religion in this world that supports adultery. The two most dominated religions in the world i.e. Islam and Christianity both frowns on fornication and adultery. It is referred as unethical and a grave sin.
Believers in Islam or Christianity who conform to high standard of morality have fear of their Lord and are very conscious with regards to committing such acts or crime. Both believe that it stains spirituality and retrogresses one’s success in this world and the next.
Therefore, being religious is another way of preventing yourself from committing adultery.
Ideally, this article is to champion the path of faithfulness in one’s marriage since it’s a determining factor for a long lasting relationship.
Always remind yourself and work towards it. The ball is in your court!
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